The Other Half of a Runner
“There should be a support group for the significant others of marathon runners”
I read this comment on a friend’s Facebook wall yesterday, after he posted the results of his 20 mile run, and had to address it.
I’ve never been on the other side of this situation but I know I wholeheartedly agree with her comment. I have the utmost respect and gratitude for those who put up with all that goes along with being the other half of a runner in training. And it reminded me how lucky I am that my partner in crime, Chris, has embraced all the shenanigans that come with me, Runner Lindsay.
And there are plenty of said shenanigans. I offer both some reasoning for our partners, to help better understand why we runners are the way we are, as well as some simple reminders for runners to show appreciation to those who love us regardless.
Runners Can Be Snobs – Unintentionally
“Lins, how was your long run?” Me: “Great! It was only 12 miles today so nice and easy.”
I know how awful that sounds. It’s pretentious, snobbish and likely makes the person asking feel like he or she is about as lazy as a Basset Hound. Trust me, it’s not our intention to make everyone else feel inadequate. I think it’s actually a perfect example of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity – in running terms.
Marathon runners often log 18, 20 and 20-plus-mile long runs during peak training. The weeks prior to and after those big ones are significantly lower in mileage to ensure our legs aren’t overly fatigued. By the time we work our way up to those big ones in our schedule, a 12 mile one seems like a walk in the park.
A Runner’s Mood Can Be Entirely Determined By A Run
I could score my company a great PR placement, win a free lunch and snag a front-row spot in the gym parking lot – essentially, have a great day. And it can all be wiped out by a bad run. It sucks that we, as runners, let our mileage or speed or splits define us. It can be even worse for a supportive partner who cheers us for getting in 5 miles after a long day. It’s one of those moments of which we have to try and let go, and be especially conscious NOT to take it out on our partner or let it disrupt their good mood.
On the flip side, a horrible day be saved by a kickass run.
A Runner’s Schedule Revolves Around Running
Chris respects my need to have quiet Friday nights and go to bed before the 10:00 news begins. He’s happy to stay in and watch a movie on a Saturday night if I had a tough long run earlier that day. And when he asks if I’d like to join him and his co-workers for happy hour after work, he prefaces it with, “Don’t worry if you can’t make it. I know you need to get your run in.” I’m grateful for this understanding and accommodation.
True, we runners sacrifice plenty to make room for our lifestyle. Let’s not forget our significant other feels the pain of that sacrifice just as much.
Finally, how many times have you taken a step back during training and thought, “Why am I doing this?” Why do we sacrifice sleeping in and going out on weekends? Why do we force ourselves to push our mileage on those days we feel like we just can’t? I think runners are very driven, goal-oriented people who are able to see the “big picture”. When we have those doubts, we’re able to get back into the positive mindset quickly. But imagine how our partners view it.
While they do see some of our joy, they see a lot more of our pain, tears and frustration. Most of all, they don’t have that end goal in sight. They’re not the ones who get to experience the runners high and euphoria of crossing the finish line. I have to think it’s incredibly difficult for even the most supportive person to understand all the questions of “why?” Yet, they still support us. It’s easy to understand why they deserve a support group all their own.
This is just scratching the surface; there are plenty of other things our partners put up with like our smelly clothes and eating copious amounts of food. All we can say is thank you and we appreciate it. And, for most of us, this level of committed, hardcore training typically isn’t year-round so you won’t always have to put up with it!
Have something to add or want to give a shoutout to your best guy or gal? Leave a comment or tweet it to me @runlikeagirl311.
The Buddy System
“I get by with a little help from my friends”
Earlier this week, I shared with you all how I found my way into running. A big part of the leap came from a friend. She gave me two of the most important things I think anyone entering a fitness program needs: accountability and encouragement. I recommend anyone who wants to get into running or fitness in general to enlist in the help of a friend. Hell, I still rely on my BodyPump buddy, Heidi, as motivation to drag my lazy ass to class every Tuesday morning at 5!
But back to running. Nowadays, I very rarely run with other people, especially if I’m training for a specific race. I’m far too OCD with distance and speed to chance that the person I’m with won’t be on the same high-strung, anal-retentive page. But I do have one running buddy that I always enjoy hitting the pavement with – my dog, Burton.
Even in snowy, cold weather, Burton is ready to run
Burton is a ridiculously energetic 2 ½ year old Bug – a mixed breed of Boston Terrier and Pug. One look at him, 19 pounds, huge wide-set eyes and smooshed face, you’d never guess he’s a runner. In fact, the reactions I get when I casually mention he and I went for an 8-mile run are priceless. He’s not a Lab, Weimaraner or other breed associated with runners, but what he lacks in size, he makes up for in speed and endurance.
Aside from pushing my pace per mile, I think the best part of running with Burton is I can always count on him. He has never once turned down the chance to run because he wasn’t in the mood. He’s never thrown in the towel after two miles because he’s tired. He goes when I want to and he won’t stop until I stop. He just might love running more than I do.
I don’t mean to say other people or those I’ve run with in the past are lazy, slow and unreliable – not at all. Any workout buddy, whether human or not, is worth their weight in gold, just by being there. By offering empathy. By understanding that we all have days where our bodies just want to say no. I guess I’ve just grown to prefer the company of Burton during my runs over anyone else. It’s kind of become “our thing” and I like that.
I’m not alone in this. There’s a wonderful blogger I follow, Lea, whose blog title outright states her love of running with her dog – runningwithollie.com. I’m especially excited to share her blog on my own, as Burton and I are going to be featured on it tomorrow! I’ll share the link here and on Twitter, and I hope you’ll check it out.
A final thought: If you’re in need of a workout buddy, consider the furry friend curled up on the couch next to you. I’d bet he or she would love to get outside and hit the pavement with you.
Any other dog moms/dads out there who love running with their fur baby? Comment or tweet me, @runlikeagirl311.
Finding The One
“All it takes is a spark to ignite a fire.”
I can’t recall the exact date. I don’t remember how long it was the first time. But I do know that since this relationship began, it’s been one of the healthiest of my life. Before I go any further, get your mind on the right track – I’m talking about running.
Those who know me today might assume I’ve been a runner all my life. Not the case. There was a time I hated running. My high school sports team started each practice with a one-mile warm up run. And I complained the whole way. I dreaded it. I petitioned for why we shouldn’t have to run. Yep, all this fuss over one damn mile.
Fast forward to college. I was working at a local gym, occasionally hitting the elliptical to try and shed some of that famous college weight many of you may remember. Jen, my co-worker and friend (also former teammate and fellow running hater) told me she decided she was going to run a 5k. I thought to myself, “Why?” Also, “Damn, 3 miles! No way I could do that.” Yep, I let that negative voice inside my head talk me out of something before I had even given it a try.
A couple months later, Jen ran that 5k. I was so proud of her – and a little jealous. I wanted to cross the finish line too. I wanted to be proud of such an awesome accomplishment. It made me wonder, should I give this running thing a try? I’ve seen the runners at the gym. They look great. They’re hopelessly devoted to the sport. There had to be something more to it than “just running”. Also, the thought of it reignited the competitive athlete inside of me, the one I hadn’t seen in nearly 5 years. She was kind of a badass in her heyday and I wanted her back. But that negative voice was still there, telling me I couldn’t do it.
Jen (right) and me – not running, just having a little fun.
Then the best thing that could have happened did: Jen asked if I’d ever want to run a race with her, and train together. The thought of having someone there with me made think I maybe could do it. So we made a commitment, one of “Go Big or Go Home” caliber: To run a half marathon in May of 2007. That was the spark.
One thing I didn’t expect was the lifestyle change that came with training. Instead of going out on Friday nights, I stayed in and went to be early so I could be there for Jen Saturday mornings, and be at my best for me. We slowly worked up our mileage each weekend. We hit the treadmill and cross-trained on our own during the week, always knowing we had to report to each other on Saturdays. No way in hell was I going to be “the weak one” so it kept me motivated to stick to the weekly workouts. When May rolled around, Jen and I lined up with all the runners (neither of us felt like a real “runner” yet) and ran the entire half marathon. Crossed the finish line. Holy shit, was that a trip.
After that, I could have easily quit running. I completed my goal, after all. But I didn’t quit. I wanted to keep at it. I wanted to get better, faster. In those months of training, I had formed a relationship with running. I lost several pounds. I got stronger. I was healthier, both mentally and physically. I felt closer to that athlete inside me. Running just made me feel good. It changed my life, it saved my life.
Like any relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs. There have been some love/hate moments. It hasn’t gotten easier over the years; we have to work at it nearly every day. And, I admit, some days I just don’t want to. But running has given me so much, I oddly feel like I owe it the same. Or maybe it’s that I realize running is one of those things where, the more effort you give to it, the more rewards you get back from it.
I’d love to hear about how you found your way into running – or walking, swimming, weight lifting, fitness in general. Tweet me @runlikeagirl311.